


The Sweet Tooth and Bitter Disappointments

by bakingphaninmymind



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 5 times... 1 time, 5k-10k, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Baking, Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, Oneshot, POV Phil, POV Phil Lester, Strangers to Lovers, barista!Dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23213218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakingphaninmymind/pseuds/bakingphaninmymind
Summary: Five times that Phil went out for bad Tinder dates and the one time a Tinder date came to him. A.K.A. the story about Phil getting fed up with his loneliness. Our boy starts swiping.
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester, Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 16
Kudos: 51





	The Sweet Tooth and Bitter Disappointments

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been reading fluffy fics for hours now and it still makes me miss someone, so I decided to write this to make myself weep and then potentially feel better.  
> The story is based on some real ridiculous Tinder experiences. That is all.
> 
> As always, thanks to my beta @talismandjh on Twitter who helped make this baby shine!

1.

It was no secret that Phil was very single. Oh, single he was.

“Come on, man, just get on Tinder and find some booty,” his friend Luke had suggested one time when Phil had been whining about how lonely he felt watching the reruns of his favourite show after work.

But Luke didn’t understand. It wasn’t a simple matter of downloading Tinder and getting to know someone. Phil didn’t want to know someone. He wanted to devour that other person, he wanted to fill his every body cell with the thought of that person. He wanted to find someone who would learn to understand him. Someone who would learn to tolerate and appreciate his weird quirks like him buying many, many plants. He really should stop doing that but, in all honesty, there was nothing stopping him when he noticed another cute plant that was smiling at him to adopt it and take it under his wing.

Feeling utterly lonely but also rather beaten after he’d watched another sappy romance movie, Phil had done it. He had gone on the Apple Store and downloaded the app known for its mishaps and many secrets. He’d gone where everyone went.

Phil had gone online.

He’d started by watching a couple of videos on YouTube about Instagram. However, his eyes soon burnt with the not-so-funny skits of ‘ _5 types of guys you find on Tinder’_ and all the information about how to hack the Tinder algorithm. Phil decided to go full yolo and just created a profile. As he’d done so, a myriad of things had gone through his mind; all the information about what was frowned upon, who got rejected, what to mention in your bio or what not to— Phil sighed heavily in the end and decided not to take it seriously.

He’d created a profile, uploaded a couple of pictures— only those that his flatmate Flynn had deemed ‘attractive’, ‘hot’ or ‘passable’. He laughed to himself. It wasn’t that difficult!

Yet, when the time came to write his bio, he hesitated.

It was almost like his ID card after all. Phil bit his lip, listened to several songs, and finally came up with something he thought wouldn’t come off very desperate but wouldn’t make him look like he wasn’t a funny guy at all.

_Just a guy. Plants are my life. Music is what hides in my soul but food is the way to my heart_ _😊_

Phil had actually laughed to himself as he read through this. Feeling proud and ready, he began swiping but soon got overwhelmed with the number of girls playing the hard-to-get card. Everyone wanted attention but no one was willing to give it. He began a chat with Angelica and first wrote a simple hello before he remembered the advice: never start with a hello.

Phil bit his lip and started anew, smiling proudly when he came up with a witty remark about the girl’s bio. He clicked ‘send’ and waited, heart pounding. And waited and waited. Until he couldn’t take it anymore and he began his wild swiping and chatting strike.

There was something one forgot to warn Phil about, though. It was that Tinder actually took a ton of work. There was always someone replying and Phil felt responsible to come up with a witty remark each time, trying to come off as smart but not too smart, hot but not too hot, confident but not like a dick and— and it was all so much that one day he stopped replying and making the first moves.

Phil lay on his bed, Netflix playing in the air, as he pouted, thinking about his conquests so far.

Conquests, as in, dates.

The number stayed at zero so far.

Tinder was not for him; he was clearly lacking some social skills to get anyone curious enough to offer a date or say yes to his smooth indirect offers.

Then—

DING!

Phil recognised it must have been Tinder and shot up into a sitting position. He grabbed his phone and unlocked it, eyes roaming the screen, trying to sneakily read the messages on his notifications because, obviously, he was deleting the app soon, but he was curious who was messaging him just now.

His eyes widened when he saw it was one of the girls with whom he’d been chatting ever since he downloaded the app. He hesitantly opened the message, thanking lords that the girl wouldn’t be able to check if he’d read her message.

His heart skipped a beat and he shouted a loud ‘Yes!’ into the flat he shared with Flynn who’d come right into his room upon hearing him.

“You okay? You’re not like choking or something?” his friend asked as he stood uncertainly in the doorframe. Phil looked between Flynn and his phone as he typed back fast, quickly setting up a date.

A date!

An actual date!

“I’m meeting with Rose the day after tomorrow,” he mumbled excitedly, too focused on his typing to register the way Flynn’s eyes almost fell out of his sockets with how wide they turned.

“You’re— wait, what?” he spluttered, and Phil laughed excitedly.

“I have a date on Friday,” he echoed and sat up on the heels of his feet, bouncing up and down on his bed.

Flynn shoved him aside and demanded to be shown the phone, shown the evidence and the photos.

After close scrutiny and a thousand general questions, he asked,

“You want to see her?”

Phil hesitated for a second but then waved at Flynn, trying to wave his worries away. After all, it had been two years since he’d been on any kind of a date. Did he remember what going on dates was about? Its rules? Red flags?

He shook his head.

“It’s just a date,” he mumbled.

On Friday though, it turned out he had nothing to wear. Once again, he didn’t want to come off as desperate or trying too hard, but he wanted the other person to know he cared. In the end, he chose a red button-up and his favourite black trousers. Red was the colour of love, as they said.

Phil arrived at the park five minutes early and waited anxiously. He was unable to focus even on his favourite game. Ugh, he hated feeling so nervous.

Rose arrived soon, though, and they began chatting. He’d slowly calmed down and words came easier to him and they even shared a laugh or two. But then, it began.

“Oh, look!” he said and pointed to a tiny dog walked beside someone. “It’s so cute!” he said excitedly, his eyes following the dog as it passed them, cooing at its little eyes and fluffy fur.

It was the first time that Rose had told him about it. He could hardly catch the name, lest remember it, but she explained that some people get obsessed with one idea and then start seeing it everywhere. Like those who want children will begin to notice pregnant women or families everywhere.

Phil nodded, scrunching up his nose in concentration, and listened carefully.

When another dog was coming their way, Phil couldn’t _not_ point at it. He’d sooner die than not notice another cute doggo bustling towards them, its tail wagging in happiness as it trekked towards them.

“Another one,” he said, laughing and commenting on how cute the dog was.

“See, that’s another pregnant woman for you. So, do you want children then?”

Phil choked on nothing and turned around, realising that the dog belonged to, in fact, a pregnant lady. He turned back to Rose, mouth opening and closing in embarrassment.

“I was looking at the dog,” he stuttered but his cheeks were already flushed.

This repeated and Phil was more than frustrated. Every time he’d pointed to a dog, Rose was quick enough to follow it up with a psychoanalysis that always somehow led to Phil wanting children on the level of his subconsciousness.

In all honesty, Phil respected therapists and psychiatrists but right now, he just felt under constant fire. He’d laughed awkwardly each time and tried to brush it off, but each time was a mistake.

They’d ended up leaving on a ‘see you soon’ as Phil shuddered at the mere reminder of the date. He answered Flynn as he entered his favourite café, in need of a much-needed caffeine and sugar boost.

_So how was it? She hot? – Flynn_

_Um, kinda awkward. Turns out I’m obsessed with the idea of children – Phil_

_WTF DUDE LMAO – Flynn_

_Could have texted me. Would rescue you bro - Flynn_

Phil grimaced at the reply.

_I didn’t want to be rude! She was nice besides that – Phil_

“What can I get you?” a bartender asked. Phil locked his screen and looked up into a pair of brown eyes.

He kind of forgot how to breathe for a second.

“So?” the man smiled sweetly, waiting patiently for his order.

Phil felt his cheeks turn pink as he stumbled over his words and told the name of his favourite comfort drink.

“And a chocolate cupcake, please?” he asked shyly, feeling himself be thrown off ground.

The bartender he hadn’t seen here yet smiled and nodded.

“Coming right up,” he said. Phil gulped, seeing that smile once again. He paid and scurried off into his usual spot by the window. He pulled out his phone and began a five-minute text fight with Flynn about everyone knowing that old trick of ‘Sorry, gotta go, my friend has just broken their leg’ when the cute bartender called Phil’s order up. Phil sat up so quickly he pushed away his chair with so much force that it landed on the floor with a metallic clang.

Phil blushed in embarrassment as he felt everyone’s eyes on him, the cute barista included. Phil wanted to die right then and there as he grabbed the chair and placed it back on the floor. He walked over to the counter, staring at the floor.

“Um, thanks,” he mumbled as he paid. The man laughed softly.

“It’s okay. These chairs are just too light,” he shot back, a soft smile on his lips. Phil smiled back, slightly relieved, and scurried back to his spot, making sure not to trip himself or the chair.

He drank the coffee, wincing when he read the excited message from Rose. He tried to reply with as much enthusiasm, but truth be told, he was regretting his own decisions. Tinder was stupid, Phil thought as he groaned and banged his head against the table in frustration.

When Phil came back home, he just shut himself in his room, sighing as he swiped left and right with now even more purpose than earlier.

* * *

2.

The second time he met someone from Tinder was much, much worse.

Flynn had noticed his sour mood and a week after his flatmate didn’t stop mentioning they should just go to a club and chill, Phil caved in and agreed.

Phil was not the most coordinated person in the world. He was one of the few people to always lose at Jenga because his hands and fingers sometimes decided to act against him. They trembled when he least expected or made sudden movements that were completely out of his control. So, it was natural that sometimes Phil wanted to swipe someone right and accidentally would swipe left. The first time he was so frustrated he ended up ranting to Flynn for half an hour about it, then went for a takeout coffee to his favourite place. If it was to also see the cute barista then so be it.

This time, he hadn’t tripped or created a commotion and Phil was almost able not to lose himself in the soft dimpled smile the man behind the counter wore. Phil even made a tiny remark about some baffling name of a drink and the laugh he got in response made Phil beam.

When he came back, comforted by his fav drink and cupcake, Flynn raised a brow at his cheery expression.

“Okay but we’re still hitting the club,” he pressed.

So, they did.

Phil was sporting a beer that was already warm and tasted like piss as he moved slightly to the music. He was swiping left and right as he waited for Flynn to come back from the loo when some girl chatted him up. She’d looked vaguely familiar but since he’d created an account on Tinder almost every stranger, he passed on the street resembled one or another person he’d seen on the app. So, Phil hadn’t given it much thought, chatting back in what he hoped was an amicable way.

Until the girl began talking about the puppy she would soon be adopting, and everything clicked in Phil’s mind.

“Luna!” he screeched in both horror and shock as he looked at the picture of a cute squishy pup. He then looked to the girl and realised, with fear and anxiety, that he couldn’t remember her name. She definitely hadn’t been in his ‘friends’ list because he started the conversation – or tried to, anyway – right away. So, had he swiped her left with full consciousness, or had he done it on accident? What did she know about him that he didn’t know about her?

Phil felt a lump form in his throat as he stuttered out an apology and asked for her name. Happily, Flynn had just exited the loo, noticed his distress and came to the rescue, pulling him away with an apology about them having a ‘boys only’ night.

The next day Phil was terrified as he recounted the story, but the barista was laughing so hard he was wheezing. Phil stared, offended at first, but then realised the ridiculousness of the situation and joined in, chuckling at all the absurdity.

“You’re such a flop,” the man said, and Phil pushed his chest out, now deeply hurt.

“I refuse to be offended by a person whom name I do not know,” he shot back as he dug into his usual order of the chocolate cupcake and an over sweetened coffee, and the guy’s eyes glinted for the first time since Phil had started venting about his fail.

“It’s Dan,” he said softly, smiling at Phil from across the counter. Phil smiled back on instinct and pulled out his hand – after he’d made sure it wasn’t sweaty and gross.

“And I’m Phil,” he responded, and the guy laughed as he shook his hand.

“So, do I get to offend you now and get away with it?” he shot back teasingly and Phil snorted but inside, he was feeling very, very light.

* * *

It was weird to change his settings from ‘women’ to ‘everyone’ and his heart skipped a beat or two as he began taking in the guys’ profiles, laughing to himself at some of the bios and shaking his head as he read offers of someone looking for a sub. All respect for people who were into the stuff aside, he always felt flustered and weird and at one point even began questioning his own preferences. He mused this thought out loud to Flynn as they laid on his bed after a movie ended and they began chatting about nothing and everything.

“—and you know, maybe it’s like, destiny or something? Maybe Tinder knows something about me that I do not and, you know, it’s not like anything has worked out for me so far,” he mumbled. “Maybe I should just try out this stuff? Maybe—”

“—maybe I don’t want to see some asshole break your heart again after he’s done playing with it,” Flynn cut in and Phil gasped. He turned to glare at his friend, but he was already sending him a murderous gaze back.

“It’s not about him—” he argued but his flatmate was not having any of it.

“Or maybe it’s still about Jake and that’s why none of the people you’ve met haven’t worked out for you so far?” Flynn challenged. Phil had no idea what to say so he shut up and changed the subject.

* * *

3.

The first date he decided to go on with a guy wasn’t even related with Tinder.

He got pressured into it by a friend of his, who just knew the _perfect_ guy for Phil. It was, obviously, a friend of Phil’s friend.

Their date went amazingly smooth and Phil was even able to relax as they drank coffee and chatted about everything and nothing. He didn’t feel particularly attracted to the guy per se but it didn’t mean a spark wouldn’t start, right? He felt Dan’s gaze across the room, or so he thought, as they talked for at least four hours. Phil was dumbstruck as Mike laughed at some of his jokes and nodded along to the stories Phil had told.

They sat until the café was closing and Dan walked up to their table with a frown on his face. His voice sounded stern and gruff as he told them they were closing in five and walked away without even a glance at Phil.

Phil was baffled because Dan had never acted like that. Maybe he was having a bad day?

He voiced the thought out loud to Mike as they put on their coats and left.

* * *

“Hey, what’s wrong?” was the first thing Phil had asked Dan as he entered the café and reached the register.

Dan was arranging the freshly baked cupcakes with a stern and determined expression on his face on the silver platter, not looking up at Phil.

“Something happened between you and your brother?” he pressed on and Dan snorted so loud that a couple of clients sitting by the table looked in their direction. Phil’s forehead wrinkled as he analysed Dan’s behaviour from yesterday and today and blushed. The only other thought Phil had on his mind was that Dan was acting _jealous_ after seeing him with Mike the evening before.

The problem was, though, that Phil knew that Dan wasn’t gay or swinging both ways. He had checked Tinder when he’d come for a coffee, right after changing his displaying options to ‘men’. He carefully swiped through everyone in the area, searching for Dan’s profile. It wasn’t there. Phil was sure of it because he’d checked it that one and only time when he’d turned on the Internet while being at the café. Every other time he forgot about the existence of his phone as he chatted away with Dan.

“Dan?” he asked softly, and Dan sighed heavily. The brunet looked up and pressed the back of his palms to his eyes so tightly that Phil wasn’t sure he wouldn’t scrub his eyes out.

“Yes, Phil, I am just having problems with Adrian,” he mumbled but his voice didn’t reflect his words. He then looked down and back at Phil with a weak sad smile.

“He’s been a pain since he’d gone to college,” he said, and Phil flinched when Dan set one of the chocolate cupcakes in front of Phil with so much force that it crumbled a little. He then turned suddenly and began preparing Phil’s usual drink as the other watched on in bewilderment.

He bit his lip as he looked down at the cake and looked to Dan’s tense shoulders.

“You know, I fight with my brother a lot,” he said softly but upon no reply, he just continued. “I hate it because I love him so it hurts not to be able to communicate things to him the way I’d like to,” he whispered and Dan turned back around and set the coffee on the table. His smile was non-existent that day and Phil realised how much he was missing it.

“Yeah. Thanks. I have to get back to work, though,” he said and smiled in the way he only smiled at clients he disliked. Phil frowned but decided Dan must have been really upset by the fight then. So, he took his cupcake and his coffee and went to his usual spot. He munched on the cake thoughtfully, glancing at Dan, hoping he’d be able to talk to him more next time.

* * *

Dan wasn’t there for work the next day and Phil settled for a takeaway consisting of a sad black coffee and a croissant he ate on the way home. He checked his phone for a reply from Mike to the last text he’d sent. There was still none but Phil shrugged, reminding himself that people also had lives and jobs apart from Tinder.

Phil went to the café the next time he could do so after work. He almost sighed in relief when he saw Dan by the register, a radiant smile lighting up his face as he talked politely to an elderly lady. They were in the midst of a serious conversation about what seemed to be good ratios in baking.

Phil giggled, feeling better himself as he’d noticed Dan was in a better mood already. He walked up to the register as the lady walked away. Phil wore a big grin on his lips as he slipped into the place in front of the counter.

“Hey. I see you’ve talked it out with Adrian,” he said softly, looking Dan over.

Dan grimaced slightly and smiled weakly.

“Yeah. You can say that. Anyway, regular?” he asked, sending another small smile Phil’s way.

Phil nodded, leaning against the counter, using up the chance that the café was not packed at this hour. He began chatting on about his day as Dan prepared his usual order, humming and nodding along to his words, adding some comments, remarks or questions himself. They then launched into a whole debate on the latest Marvel movie. By the time Phil had to scoot over because another client had come in, he’d finished his coffee and eaten his cupcake.

He blushed when he realised, apologising to Dan for taking so much of his time.

“It’s fine. I really don’t mind,” he said, sending that dimpled smile for the first time that day.

Phil was in heaven.

* * *

4.

Phil wasn’t even that interested in the next person he was supposed to meet in a couple of minutes. He was currently in his favourite spot, that is, leaning against Dan’s counter, telling him jokes and silly stories from his life, when the bell rang, announcing another customer.

The second Phil set his eyes on his date, he gasped. The guy looked like a businessman and Phil looked to Dan in discomfort.

“Oh, I guess he’s for me,” he mumbled and turned back around, not noticing the way Dan’s eyes turned into little slits as he looked the newcomer up and down.

“Crossing my fingers for you, mate,” Dan said bitterly but Phil was too preoccupied with the word _‘mate’_ echoing in his head to pay any mind to the tone of voice Dan was using.

He mumbled a quiet thanks and walked over to George, saying hi and offering to order first.

The man was bulky, Phil could see it, and he instantly shut down any of Phil’s offers to split the bill. It should have made Phil feel giddy, but it instead made him uncomfortable and then angry when the man basically threw the money at Dan and barked his order.

They took a seat, Phil crossing his arms instinctively at first, before he realised what he’d been doing and sitting straight.

“Um, so, how was your day?” he asked and thanked Dan when he set their orders on their table.

The man took the coffee instead and sipped and grimaced.

“What is this shit?” he growled at Dan at the same time that Phil mumbled a nervous,

“So, this is my favourite café—”

* * *

Phil’s cheeks were red but not because the guy had made any lasting impression on him. It was rather because he hadn’t, and Phil felt embarrassed that he’d met with the guy. He sighed as he was sat alone in his spot after the guy had just up and left at one point just when Phil was trying to tell a funny story.

“It’s on the house,” a soft and familiar voice said, and Phil jumped in his seat as Dan set a plate with Phil’s favourite chocolate cupcake in front of him.

Phil hid his face in his hands.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry he acted like… like a…” he mumbled through his fingers. Dan laughed softly, checked that his co-worker was doing okay, and sat down opposite of Phil.

“Like a complete dick? It’s not your fault the guy was one,” Dan said, and Phil sighed, looking up to Dan’s eyes shyly, smiling awkwardly.

“I’m still sorry. I didn’t even know what to say,” he admitted sheepishly.

“So, no second date?” Dan teased and Phil blushed and looked down at his hands.

“Actually, he just got up and left at one point,” he mumbled.

Dan’s eyes widened.

“Wait, what? Without a goodbye?”

Phil nodded and Dan shook his head in disbelief.

“That’s a right dick. What about the guy you’ve been here with the last Saturday?” Dan asked, resting his face in his hands, his freckles shining in the dim evening soft light of the café.

Phil shook his head and bit his bottom lip.

“Ghosted me,” he mumbled. “Dunno why. It seemed like we had a good time,” he said quietly and sighed as he began to munch on the cupcake in a very sad and pathetic way.

Dan bit his lip as he regarded Phil for a few minutes.

“Okay, that’s it, Phil,” he said as he stood up and reached for the broom and gave it to Phil who looked dumbfounded, to say the least.

“Help me close up and then I’m taking you somewhere with faith,” he decided. Phil opened and closed his mouth, ready to decline the polite offer, but Dan pressed the cupcake right into it, therefore, silencing any of his protests.

“Shh, don’t argue with your barista,” he said teasingly, a smirk on his lips and a glint in his eyes.

Phil gulped but nodded.

When Dan and his co-worker closed up, Dan smiled at Phil as they began to walk down the street. It was weird to see the brunet out of his workplace environment, but it was also enticing. The crush Phil had been sporting did not go away and as he listened to Dan’s monologue about the philosophy of coffee, he kept losing himself in the brown eyes.

Dan smiled softly at him and looked down at his feet. Phil cleared his throat.

“Where exactly are we going?” he asked. Dan looked up and his eyes shone brighter.

“It’s a secret. You’re going to love it,” he assured.

Love it, he did.

It turned out that Dan had been a volunteer at a local shelter as a teenager and since he’d made friends with the staff, they let him pet the dogs and take them out for walks on some weekends.

“Thanks, Louise! You’re the best,” he said as he kissed the cheek of his friend and Phil couldn’t help but feel a pang of something hot in his chest as he watched it happen.

Dan was smiling that dimpled smile, though, and Phil forgot all about his own jealousy as he followed him out, a fluffy dog barking around them on a leash, as they took it for a walk. They spent about two hours just talking, random topics and serious topics. Phil was surprised when he brought up the topic of Jake and though it still hurt, he felt lighter. Dan nodded in understanding and asked questions, his voice soft, like he didn’t want to intrude. And Dan had also shared the struggles he went through as a teenager himself, some of them dark, some of them light and ridiculous now in the light of the time that passed.

When they went back to the shelter, it was dark out and they could barely see their faces.

“I’ll see you sometime soon, yeah?” Dan said softly and although Phil wanted to ask for a number, or to see Dan some time sooner, he stopped himself.

Because Dan wasn’t swinging this way. He would have mentioned Tinder or been listed on it. Phil would have known. Phil had checked.

So, they parted ways as friends and although he had such a stupid smile on his face when he came back home that Flynn was all over him with questions, Phil still felt happy.

“How was your date?”

“It wasn’t a date!” he denied, blushing, distracted as he put his coat back on the hanger and took off his shoes. Flynn crossed his arms as he watched Phil, putting on the fatherly persona he kept specially for his friend.

“Dan and I just… went for a walk,” he mumbled, blushing at the memory of how comfortable he felt beside the man.

His flatmate raised a brow at that.

“Which Dan? From Tinder, right? So, you’re going to go out again?” he asked and Phil choked and then flushed as he realised he’d totally forgotten about that dick of a man he’d been on a date with.

“Roger? Nah, he was a right dick,” he mumbled.

Fuck. He was fucked.

* * *

5.

Phil knew he was fucked so that was exactly why he was waiting for his date to show up. Dan was sending soft smiles his way and it was doing all sorts of crazy things to Phil’s heart as he was sat in his spot. His knee was bouncing up and down. He’d recently realised just how big of a crush he was still sporting on Dan and how big of a problem it could become if he got hung up on the man. Especially if they turned out to be good friends.

Phil didn’t want to live the rest of his life, dreaming about a set of brown eyes that he was not allowed to swoon over.

He almost jumped in his seat when the application let out a ping with a message. His date had been texting him the night before and they planned to meet here but he hadn’t received a single text today. Now, as he stared down at his phone and read the message, he sighed heavily and banged his head against the table.

He was utterly lost in this game of Tinder.

“Guess it’s not going so great?” Dan muttered as he appeared by his side with Phil’s chocolate cupcake and his favourite warm drink.

Phil looked up, squinting up at Dan.

“Um, how do you know?” he asked and wiggled in his seat. Dan looked so good. His hair was styled perfectly.

Dan laughed softly and patted Phil on the shoulder.

“You’ve been sitting here a while and oh, wait, that headbanging also gave me some foggy idea,” he said teasingly but his voice remained gentle.

“He wasn’t worth you,” Dan said, and Phil bit his tongue so as not to shout, ‘ _But maybe you could be?’_ right in the man’s face. Dan took Phil’s silence differently, though, and he smiled in sympathy. “You’ll meet someone good one day,” he assured and walked back behind the register, leaving Phil with a storm of thoughts in his head.

Phil groaned quietly, his heart aching in just the most bittersweet of ways.

Why was Dan just not the tiniest bit gay? Just a tiny itty bitty.

What if Phil had a thing for falling head over heels for straight men? Phil wondered as he opened Tinder back up and loaded new people for this location. He drank the coffee and began swiping, stuffing his mouth with pieces of the mouth-watering cupcake.

He sighed and stared longingly in Dan’s direction before he looked back to his phone.

Then, he froze as he looked down at his screen.

There, on the screen of his iPhone was Dan’s dimpled face smiling at him.

It cannot be. Dan wasn’t— Dan was anything but gay. Phil had made sure. Phil had checked. He repeated to himself as he clicked on the profile with a shaking finger.

There, out and proud, was Dan’s bio.

_Hello. Socially inept and awkward barista who will make you coffee the way you want it. I remember orders perfectly. Become my long-term regular_ _😉_

Dan could still be straight, right? Phil wondered as he swiped Dan’s pictures, drinking them in with his eyes like a man dying of thirst. But then— no other possibility.

Dan was gay. Very gay. He was the euphemism of out and proud.

Phil stared at the stunning picture of Dan in a rainbow sequined costume, a poster in his hand.

Phil looked to Dan with an open mouth and then back to his phone.

How had he missed this?! How had he not known… All this time!

His fingers shook as Phil swiped right. His heart stopped when he caught the sight of Dan taking out his phone behind the register.

He swallowed hard and waited, holding his breath. Dan smiled down at his phone and just as Phil thought there was no chance, he would do anything, Dan leaned to his co-worker and spoke something in a soft voice.

He looked in the direction of Phil’s table and wiped his hands on his apron as he walked to him. He took a seat opposite him, a soft smile on his lips, but a lovely shade of pink dusting his cheeks.

“So,” he said but Phil was still holding his breath and Dan laughed. “Don’t suffocate, please,” he said softly as he reached forward and touched Phil’s cheek with his hand, pressing his fingers against Phil’s cheek.

Phil let out a breath and felt his mind reeling, either deprived of oxygen or just gone crazy from all the recent events and new pieces of information.

“Does this mean I found the way to your heart?” he asked, and Phil had only noticed but his fingers were shaking against Phil’s hot cheek. Phil reached for them and took them between his own, squeezing gently.

“M– maybe. You’ll have to wait and see,” he shot back.

The smile he got in response could melt icecaps quicker than the climate change was doing it.

* * *

6.

Phil was laughing his butt off as Dan was encircled by the puppies their adopted dog had had.

“I think they just consider you their second mother,” he teased Dan who glared back at him, but his expression quickly changed when he crossed his eyes with Phil’s. He reached out for Phil, smiling softly.

“Come help me feed my children then,” he shot back. Phil laughed and took Dan’s hand, lacing their fingers together as he stepped into the middle of the puppy circle. He leaned down and cooed at them while their corgi stood proudly a metre away, watching the scene.

It wasn’t their first date, but it was the first they’ve had in their new apartment, three years after they decided to become something more than friends. They were thriving, just like Phil’s plants, and they were only getting stronger day by day.


End file.
